eatprayloving

After <insert traumatic/banal but meaningful event here>, I decided that it was time for me to get to know me. Somewhere I had lost sight of me, the only constant in my life, and it was time for me to find out who I really was.

I wanted to fling myself into this endeavour. I wanted to jump into an adventure, test how I would react. I wanted to throw off all pretence, all the bullshit, be really truly naked to the world, see how I oxidised and how I didn't.

I wanted to find new ways to feel, to feel again. I wanted to search for a meaning that I could feel. I wanted to be among strangers who spoke a language I didn't understand, who looked all different from me. I wanted to learn from them. I wanted to be surrounded by unfamiliarity and relearn the contours of my imagination.

I wanted to look in the mirror and see a new face, my face.

So I shaved my head and wrote a blog post about it.

brown girl gaze

we grow towards hollywood movies and tv shows and boybands.
and then we come to the west. omg the men all look like that! so hot! so far i've messaged my friends that i've seen an edward norton, a definite mark ruffalo, a denzel washington, a nick carter without the long hair, a keanu reeves OMG.
of course soon i learnt what their returning lingering gazes mean on my brown girl body. but omg i look back at them OMG!

what would we do without 'modernity'

what would we critique?

[an academic poem]